Monday, January 3, 2011

"Aila......No SACHIN ???!!!"

With the enormous amount  of runs Sachin Tendulkar has been scoring throughout the past year,the master blaster's fans around the globe have had more than enough reasons to celebrate.He also swept the coveted ICC awards this year,sending his fans into a double frenzy.However,with the recent uproar over Sachin's exclusion from XYZ magazine's  "100 Best films of the decade" list,Tendulkar fans may have just gone too far.

XYZ magazine recently released a list of the best 100 movies from the past decade,leaving Sachin fans all over India outraged.The cause of the uproar, seemingly, was the absence of Sachin's name from the list, with angry fans not ready to come to terms with the basic fact that Sachin Tendulkar is NOT a film.Experts justified the fans' anger, stating that Tendulkar fans scan effectively every list published over the world searching for Sachin's name in them, and have ample reasons to be disappointed if they do not find it.



Fans displayed their rage by arranging dharnaas,burning public buses and occasionally burning posters of films included in the list. Protests spread across the country,with the demand of  Sachin's inclusion at the no.1 spot in the list. Many of the fans were heard screaming,"Who is this City of God? Is it's batting average better than Sachin's? And what about Lord of the Rings?? It doesn't even come near the number of centuries Sach has scored! Are we supposed to believe that these lousy films,who haven't even played one bit of cricket in their lives,is better than Him? What a joke..hmmmpf !! ".
The repercussions were felt across the web also.Tendulkar admirers started posting angry protest slogans on various websites (occasionally totally out of context) and spreading Rajnikant jokes replacing Rajni with Sachin .Cricket discussions boards on certain sites also saw heated debates, which quite often ended with a sludge of half-remembered statistics and a general consensus on the uselessness of Ravindra Jadeja.


This unforeseen drama has triggered a bigger national debate concerning the discrimination between films and cricketers and whether they should be treated equally.TV news channels across India have started airing live phone-in shows ,namely, "Films,Cricket,God" and "Movies,Sachin,Recession,Michelle Obama,Mango Fruity...err.. what were we discussing??", with cricket analysts such as Celina Jaitley,Dino Morea,Shilpa Shetty and Navjot Singh Sidhu.

"I look forward to a day when films and cricketers would be considered equal and will not be discriminated on the basis of petty batting averages,box office collections,no. of centuries or no. of Oscars.I'm sure a day will come when Pan's Labyrinth could be the opening batsman for Australia or  Kevin Pietersen could win a Golden Globe award", remarked Shilpa Shetty,thrilled at the prospect of edifying viewers with her cricket-intellect once again. Mr.Morea was busy flaunting his newly acquired 10-pack abs through a transparent tee, while Ms.Jaitley could only utter the name of her next film, when asked to remark.

Commenting on the situation, Mr.Sidhu hollered ,"Wallowing in foolishness,my friend,is like a rhinoceros in an African bog! When you are eating with the devil, you've got to have long utensils!", leaving everyone else in the studio scratching their heads.

Amidst all the brouhaha,even Sachin could not retain his typical calm composure.When first informed by a reporter, he squealed, "Ailaaaaa!" and fainted, leaving whole of India wondering which side of the argument he was on.


P.S.-All characters in this article are fictitious.If they bear any resemblance to anybody in real life,it should be taken as mere coincidence. And,it's a satire.....if you still didn't get it! [:P]


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4 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. Delete Comment From: Critical Juncture

    boytoy said...
    In this connection i m reminded of an incident !!!
    13 years back an Indian cricket fan went to Australia.......there he saw a film named "Tendulkar" running in a movie theater.......
    he was so exited that at last a movie has been made paying tribute to the Great!!!!
    so he bought a ticket and went in to watch it!!!
    but after 2 hours he was totally disappointed!!!
    that movie was nothing about Sachin, not even about Cricket!!!
    Disgusted,he wrote a letter to the director of that movie,expressing his anger and dissatisfaction!!!
    in reply the Director wrote "ha ha, now imagine how much it pisses us when you make a movie with the name 'Border' and there's no mention of Allen Border.........."

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  3. haha amazing :)Witty and a good read

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  4. @Abhinaba---ya! knew that one! :D
    @sweta--thanks!keep visiting! :)

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